Heyyyyyy, I’m Jessenia!

For years I was not showing up as the whole version of myself. I felt that I was being picked apart and my enoughness was being measured. Was I thin enough, pretty enough, talented enough, smart enough, Black enough, Mexican enough, perfect enough, creative enough, talented enough? It got to the point where being myself made me so anxious that I just turned my personality off. I numbed myself into a people pleaser and perfectionist.

I was MISERABLE! I was living to please others. I was keeping myself in a box, a prison of my own making. I was constantly searching for what would finally make me happy.

I looked for everything outside of myself for answers, to numb the discomfort I felt inside. I was looking in all the wrong places for the “happy button”: work, accomplishments, being the “fixer” for other people’s problems, shopping, binge eating and drinking, and making drastic life changes (like moving across the country with no money and no job). I was trying so hard to feel less empty and more fulfilled with life. I often said “this can’t be it, there has to be more than this.”

My wake up call was being hospitalized. My stressed manifested itself for the second time as a cyst in my throat. This time it required emergency throat surgery and 4 days in a hospital bed. I knew that something had to change. I had to do something with the anger, anxiety, depression and dissatisfaction I felt on a regular basis. I began to transform my life. I began to set myself free!

Through my own healing/self love/self development journey I have slowly torn down the walls that were keeping me “safe” from the evaluation of others. I have healed so much of my trauma. I have unlearned and learned what true Self Love means. As a result I have fallen in love with the real me. Not the version of myself that I thought I was supposed to be. Not the caricature I created of myself that was fueled by my people pleasing and perfectionism.

No. The REAL me. Loving myself as the dancing, barefoot, food loving, tree hugging, queer, clumsy, stretch marked, multi-racial, human, ME. I transformed my life from something that I felt trapped by into a life that makes me feel deep joy, gratitude and excitement.

What I live for is being the life coaching, yoga teaching, meditation guiding soul sister who holds safe space for others to love the truest version of themselves and create a life that they are excited about! I know that if I could do it, then so can you!

Fun facts:

  1. I was born in Guadalajara, Mexico but now call the California Low Desert my Home.

  2. I am Mexican, Black and White. 

  3. I have C-PTSD (and am loving this post traumatic growth)!

  4. I was a dancer for 12 years on stage, now I just dance through the house. 

  5. I am a very slow reader but love books

  6. Music is the heartbeat I move through life to

  7. I’ve had a side hustle ever since I could remember. Picture the 6 year old me selling toys on the playground. No joke!

  8. When I am not using my creativity in my business I am using it to write poems, take pictures and make short films. 

  9. I can spend all day laying underneath a tree

  10. I’m a big time foodie

  11. I’m pansexual/fluid

  12. If you would be annoyed at me reciting every word to the movie we’re watching, you should consider inviting someone else to your movie night.

  13. I don’t drive because of my depth perception so my main modes of transportation are my bike, the bus and my feet.

  14. I am Libra Sun, Scorpio Moon and a Libra rising.

  15. Mispronouncing my name is like nails on a chalkboard. It’s pronounced Jess-en-ia (there’s no Y)

  16. Not traveling because of the pandemic has been hard for me. Ya girl loves to travel!

  17. I am Gluten Free, Dairy Free and Refined Sugar Free! And my mental health has never been better because of it!