Learning How to Rest

Many of us have spent years if not a lifetime in fight or flight mode and because of this, it can feel impossible or even unsafe to rest. For me, resting used to feel cringingly unproductive and unsafe. I was totally stuck in scarcity/survival mode and felt my world might crumble if I stopped hustling. And to be honest resting just felt plain boring.

But something had to give. My body, my health (and hospital bills), my therapist, and my girlfriend were all urging me to “REST WOMXN REST!!” So I caved… but I realized, for me… resting was actually really difficult.

So I practiced, cultivating the skill of rest. It may sound funny to think of rest as a “skill” but for some of us it totally is! Which is great news because like any skill it can be cultivated and strengthened over time!

But HOW do we really learn these skills? Well I’ve put together some of my favorite restful practices that I go to again and again to share with you! These have helped me heal my nervous system (so that stress and anxiety are not the norm). They have given me practical tools I can go to when my body is giving me signs of exhaustion and burnout. These practices have given me a way to regularly pause and renew my energy so that I can continue to show up as the BO$$ I am!

These are a few practical yet POWERFUL tools that have really helped me learn how to rest:

Sarah Blondin’s Learning to Honor Our Rhythms and Cycles meditation

Her words repeatedly remind me that life moves in cycles and I am not meant to be blooming and producing 24/7. I have been going back to this again and again for YEARS.

Ally Boothroyd’s 30 Minute Yoga Nidra for Deep Relaxation

Yoga Nidra has been key to helping me learn how to rest. Think of it like a massage for your nervous system. Ally Boothroyd is a great Yoga Nidra facilitator who has helped me experience deep rest and this is one of my favorites of hers! Pro tip: Do this after getting out of a hot bath to 10X your relaxation - your nervous system will thank you!

Weighted blanket

There is something about weight being on top of me that instantly makes me take a huge sigh of relief. It’s like that weighted blanket is telling me “I got you, you are safe.” It helps my body settle down and then my mind follows.

Really hot baths with Kush Queen CBD Bath Bombs

That heat relaxes our muscles which sends a signal to our brain that it’s okay and safe to relax. I HIGHLY recommend trying out a Kush Queen Bath Bomb. They are CBD infused bath bombs that I swear by! The most relaxed I have ever felt was after taking a Kush Queen bath. When I don’t have a bath bomb on hand I love to use epsom salts and some lavender oil. If you don’t have access to a bath try taking a hot shower with some essential oils or lay down on a heating pad.

If you try some of these out and it still feels strange to rest, like you just can’t settle down or get your mind off of your to do list. Try again. And again. It is amazing the skills we can strengthen with repetition.

Why put in all the effort? Because YOU and your life are worth it!

End of the Year Journal Prompts

There always seems to be a kind of excited energy around this time of year. An eagerness to move forward and conquer the next set of goals. To arrive at the first of the year with the slate cleansed and a vision of how we want to move forward. I love it! AND I believe it is so important to pause and reflect before moving forward. So I came up with these journal prompts to help you do exactly that.

Journal Prompts

1. What has gone well this year?

2. What was challenging this year?

3. What were three lessons I learned from those challenges?

4. Am I telling the story of this year in a way that empowers or disempowers me?

5. What am I grateful for in 2022?

6. What am I most proud of from this past year?

7. What do I know about myself now after 2022?

8. What would I like to take with me into 2023?

I hope those were helpful for giving you some insight on what 2022 has been for you.

Here’s to you in 2023!!

photo by Sheri Sue

3 Words I LIVE by

Sometimes the task ahead can feel so overwhelming that I go into total analysis paralysis mode. I spend so much time questioning the right next step.

I become less productive and the task at hand seems to be growing bigger and bigger in front of me.

Running a small business means that I am faced with something that I don’t know how to do ALL THE TIME. I have learned a very valuable lesson. Just start moving.

Now, this doesn’t mean to make big life altering decisions without understanding the full consequences. I’m talking about those little steps that get me one step closer to where I want to be.

“Just start moving”

On days where I wake up overwhelmed, those words get me out of bed, outside for my morning walk, on my yoga mat, in position to meditate and my journal out for some flow writing (my non-negotiable morning routine).

As I move through my routine the stress slowly starts to melt away because I am in movement. I’m not stuck in that analysis paralysis mode, spiraling about what the perfect choice to make is.

I apply the same words “just start moving” to my business, my creative projects, my budgeting, the house work I need to do. Those words help me get into action and I focus on one step at a time. That way I’m not thinking about the many steps ahead to reach my goal. I’m only focused on the one step ahead.

That movement creates momentum and sooner than later I find my rhythm. The words “just start moving” have helped me figure out so many things in my business and life and everything in between.

So whatever phase of life you’re in - getting out of your mental health rut, starting a side hustle, launching a new program in your business, or just putting away the massive pile of clothes that has been sitting on your couch... I invite you to try these words on and see how they feel.

Take a deep breath and “just start moving.”

Having a Process to Get You Through Hard Times

Everyday I wake up differently. Some days I feel grounded, grateful and optimistic for the day ahead. Other days I wake up feeling so overwhelmed that I feel paralyzed and stuck to my bed.

On those days I am so grateful that I have a process. I have tools that I immediately go to that I know will help me move through those dense feelings.

I know I can roll out my yoga mat, go for a walk, or open up my journal and by the end of that practice I know I will feel a little lighter and more capable of navigating my obligations of the day.

Do you have a process? Something that helps you navigate the inevitable highs and lows of life? If not, I got you!

Here’s one of my favorite grounding practices:

Lay on the ground

Take a deep breath in through the nose and loudly sigh on the exhale

(repeat that breath AT LEAST two more times)

Feel your whole body on the ground

You can do this at home, in nature, on a bathroom floor after you’ve been triggered at a family party. It can take less than a minute and can really help you get grounded!

Life can be breathtakingly beautiful in one moment and devastating in the next. You deserve to have a process that helps get you through the rough moments!

Here’s to your process!

Find Your Pocket of Joy

So much is happening in the world right now. Add that onto the personal stuff we’re all dealing with and it can all feel like too much to handle at times. When the heaviness feels so overwhelming, like one more thing on your plate might make you burst into tears, have a panic attack or just explode… that’s when it’s time to unplug and just do something light, fun, or restful.

That’s your signal to find your pocket of joy.

I remember the first time that the phrase “pocket of joy” came to me. I was miserable in college (but felt obligated to stay) and I would go to a patch of grass on campus every day. I laid down and read a book. In that one moment everything felt lighter. It didn’t take away all my problems but it gave me the space to breathe a little fuller. That was my pocket of joy.

Years later when I was stressed in ways I had never experienced before, I started going to Free Yoga on the Bluff in Long Beach. That gave me one hour to myself where no one needed me. I could breathe, be in my pocket of joy under the trees and recharge my inner resources enough to get me through the day.

Navigating the inevitable highs and lows of life can take an emotional toll. What brings you joy and levity in those moments?

During some of the most chaotic and challenging times of my life - that’s how I got through. Laughing with someone I love, taking a yoga class, blowing bubbles in the park, getting lost in a basketball game or a new cartoon. Those things gave me the space to catch my breath and feel as though I could stop spinning for a moment, an hour, and evening.

Then and only then was I able to approach life in a way that felt more grounded even if I was in the middle of one of life’s storms.

So I ask you, Love, what is your pocket of joy? What little thing might you do for yourself today that would make everything feel even 1% more manageable?

Know when you’ve reached your limit, give yourself a break, and find your pocket of joy.

3 Steps to Breakthrough Overwhelm

Overwhelm can feel completely paralyzing. Whether it's an endless to do list in front of you, a big life decision that's requiring your attention or you're in the middle of one of life's storms and just can't seem to catch a break. Here are three steps that can help you breakthrough that overwhelm and make life feel a little more manageable:

Step 1) Get present

Focusing on the present will make it possible for your nervous system to come out of fight or flight (the sympathetic state). We don't often make the best choices when we are in that state. So whatever makes you feel like you can cut away the past and the future, do it. Whether that's yoga, meditation, bike rides, painting, reading, running, boxing, cooking, deep breathing. Pick something that you genuinely enjoy and you have time for. Pick one thing and focus on it.

When your thoughts start to wander away from the task you're engaged in, bring your focus back to the task, back to this present moment. This will help you cut away the narratives that are not serving the moment. Bringing the past or the future into this moment right now can make your thoughts so clouded. This is not the optimal way to make the best choices moving forward.

Once you're present, your nervous system will start to reset allowing your chaotic thoughts to become calmer and more useful to you.

Step 2) Let go of what you can't control

This one is tough one, I know, it takes practice. But being able to recognize what is in your control and what isn't can be incredibly liberating! It is also so useful when you stop focusing your time, energy and mental space on trying to change something that is really not in your control to change.

When you let go of your grip of what you can't control, you are able to refocus on what you can: you and your actions/responses.

Step 3) Get clarity and move forward

We can often get swept up in an endless to do list that we can lose sight of what is actually most important. Or life is throwing us a million different things at once making it feel impossible to move forward.

Get it down on paper.

Doing a brain dump of all the things that are swimming around in your head in order to create the much needed mental space to get clear and move forward. Whether it's a list of to dos or a list of all the chaotic tests life seems to be throwing your way, circle the top priority. What is most important to focus on right NOW? Trust that everything else can wait. Get laser focused on dealing with that thing and feel that heavy weight on your shoulders start to get a little lighter.

What is most important to focus on right NOW?

Repeat Step 3 as many times as you need to, focusing on one task or obstacle at a time. Don't forget to reach out to someone you trust if you need support. We are not meant to go through this life alone. And PLEASE take time to rest, trusting that you will be in a much better mental space to handle all of life's messes when you do.

YOU GOT THIS!

If you tried these steps, I would love to know what your experience was! Let me know with a comment down below.

Why I Became a Coach

I have been creative and ambitious for as long as I can remember. As a young girl I had big dreams about the art I wanted to create, the businesses I wanted to start, the goals I wanted to achieve and the people I wanted to help. When I became an adult I had a rude awakening. I realized that these dreams would not fall into my lap no matter how hard I wished for them.

I just could grasp what steps I needed to take to make my dreams a reality. I was looking for quick results for things that I now know will take years to build. I was so frustrated and my solution was to work even harder. I had so much drive and began to direct it at any opportunity that was put in front of me. I worked so hard I was promoted several times in jobs that I was unhappy at, I traveled to places I didn’t want to go, I created things I didn’t want to create. I was so burnt out, I was so unclear and I was so unhappy.

Although I appeared to my friends and family as an accomplished, well traveled young womxn, I was miserable. I would make huge changes in my life hoping to find the answer to my dissatisfaction. I was looking for a “happy button”. I was working so hard for others, helping them build their empires and run their business that I was completely losing sight of my own dreams. I career-hopped often, I lost sight of my creativity, I tried to fit myself into a mold that was not me.

After years of being stressed, overworked, and not making my health a priority I was hospitalized for the first time in 2017. I developed a cyst in my throat, it was so painful that I didn’t speak or eat for days, this led me to a lonely and scary night in the ER. This was one of the lowest points in my life. Almost exactly a year later I was hospitalized again for the same thing. This time it required emergency throat surgery. I spent 4 days in the hospital. This was my wake up call. I needed to do something about my stress and my dissatisfaction with my life. I embraced my healing and self improvement journey.

In the midst of discovering how much mindfulness practices helped me tune out the world and gave me a moment of much needed self care, I also discovered Life Coaching videos on YouTube. I became obsessed with people giving me the answers to my life long question: how do I make my dreams come true? The answer was unanimous - one step at a time. I decided I NEEDED to become a coach. I needed to share this information that was changing my life. That moved me forward and towards MY dreams and away from doing work that I felt was meaningless.

I have completely transformed my life. I have transformed my lifestyle, my priorities, my health, my habits and my relationship to myself. I am watching my dreams come true every day. Not with the hustle culture mentality that was ingrained in me before, but with ease and flow. I make the art I want to make, I have my own business that makes me excited and grateful everyday, I have clear plans on how I am going to move closer to my goals daily. I am in love with my life in ways that I didn’t know were possible.

Being a Life + Health Coach is my life’s purpose in motion. I am so passionate and grateful to share these life changing tools and information with my clients now! I am watching them transform their lives and falling in love with the realest versions of themselves. For that, I am so grateful!